You know that I could hear you, right, asshole?  I have ears.  I don't know how retarded you think I am to not know you were talking about me even without mentioning my name -- probably as retarded as you for talking about me with me and my ears that are able to listen in the vicinity.

You must be retarded, for all your grandiose plans for the future, when you can barely lock anything down short term.  You can't even keep track of anything, but I'm not surprised since you're hardly around.  I firmly believe in focusing on one specific niche, pouring all your heart and hard work to make the best result possible, not branching out in a million different directions that are kinda sorta related to each other, especially when there aren't even enough funds or the time or the manpower to do all that work.  Haha, I know all your secrets, and you don't even know.  Fuck you.

Just endured a marketing sales presentation that was introduced under the guise of health improvement.  The presenter was announced as a person who was successful in several different (but somewhat related) types of work, and that the announcer was planning to work with the presenter.  In retrospect, that should've been a big tip-off.

So basically he is trying to scare everyone and freak everybody with scary statistics (yet with no sources, footnotes, etc.), BUT THERE'S HOPE!!!!  BUY THIS PRODUCT!!!!  I'm not saying he made up the statistics, but sources are nice! (Sidenote: People can make up statistics to prove anything. Forfty percent of all people know that. :3)

In fact, I went to check on a stat he kept expounding on and... well it wasn't entirely false.  But it wasn't entirely true either.  The last couple slides of his PPT presentation were devoted entirely to the product, it was hilarious.  It is specially crafted by only one person, not on a production line !  It only comes to $180/month so if cut out cable, you can buy it! (It costs $3000.) It's okay if you don't buy, you are already paying... WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!  DON'T YOU WANT TO LIVE?????????  I know people don't want to keep silent a good thing, so if you want to tell others, JOIN ME AND TOGETHER WE CAN RULE THE UNIVERSE AS MASTER AND APPRENTICE!!

Then another guy showed up and he explained he has a sales force of X number of people in different states and he generates a profit of $2 million a month or a year or something.  So yeah, where exactly are you in that multi-level marketing scheme we now so clearly see?

I didn't even mind the extolling of the product (hell, I used to watch infomercials for entertainment), but the blatant lie?  YOURHEALTH'SIMPORTANTHEY BUY THIS TO BE HEALTHY!!  Wow that was so... I feel bamboozled really.  I mean I doubt any one of us are going to sign up to be one of their underlings (we all discussed secretly afterward pretty much how ridiculous it was).  Suddenly it's all so clear, why he wanted more people to attend, and spoke to nearly all of us individually on attending.

And not only did the presenter get there late, the presentation took TWO hours so I got home an hour later than usual.  Ridiculous... and it was originally planned for even LATER.  HAAAAAAAAAAA.

Oh and why did he mention the colonoscope was something we never would have heard of before?  I like giving one-word answers when I'm in a big group unless absolutely necessary, so I said, "Colon."  "Yes, for the colon," he replied.  I HOPE I RUINED HIS ACT, NO MATTER HOW BRIEF THE MOMENT.

Fucking lame.

What the hell is wrong with the F train... today (or yesterday) I was but TWO stops away from my destination and they go and say that there was a loss of power at Jay St and thus the F would be running on the G line.  Huh????  Well, I know I can transfer to the A at Hoyt-Schermerhorn station (love it), the next G stop.  But it's really annoying because we had to run up and down to the other side.  I got on the A, the next stop being Jay St.  Yeah, the way they made it sound, it was like the whole station was in the dark.  But apparently just the F line?  And they didn't seem to inform the passengers waiting at Jay St for the F what was going on, because I saw a lot of people standing at the F side.

That's not a really out-of-the-ordinary story, but, the F train has been particularly in a bad funk lately.  I went to the last stop, Coney Island, to take the F back up to Manhattan, because my regular way of taking the F requires two different trains, not including the F itself, and I didn't want to do that that day.  And I was only three stops from Coney Island, so I thought, meh.  Well, THE F WAS NOT AT CONEY ISLAND!!!!  I had to take the Q to West 8th St, which was where the F was hanging out.  It went like five feet before it suddenly stopped and then a whole bunch of guys in those bright orange construction vests started bounding through the train doors to check some signal problem in the front of the train (I was in the first car, so I saw a lot), but not before the driver put on his little vest, opened up the door and stepped onto the tracks to check the problem.  I'm not really sure what the problem was, just that there was a signal malfunction and a bunch of guys came to check it out.

So finally it went to the next station, Neptune Ave, but the conductor says that the next stop, Avenue X, IS THE LAST STOP.  NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU that meant I had to go to the other side to take the F train that was going to Manhattan, because they were doing track work.  Well, at least it was going express, but it's the kind of express that's really slow and you just think, "why bother?" :/

I've always hated Brooklyn non-rush hour subway service.  Or maybe it's the one I know the best, schlepping into Brooklyn since I was a wee one, so I know the trains quite well. (I'm the train whisperer.) Subway service in Queens is quite lacking; besides the 7 (that goes to Flushing), all the other trains just travel in a thick rope together on Queens Boulevard.  Bleh.  The worst might be SIR (State Island Railway), but, seeing as I've never been on it I don't know.  But it's just one line that's only traveling on the east side of the island, sooooooooooooooo...  Bronx is kinda like Manhattan service, different trains branching off into different routes, except no crosstown trains.

And I had a whole thing on crosstown trains, but I really have to sleep.  I AM GOING TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW.  GOOD NIGHT.

P.S. I don't know why I like talking about the subway so much.  I already have subway (blanked out, seriously, I forgot it... maybe sandwiches?).  OKAY IT'S SLEEPY TIME.

Fuck you, Guideposts.  I never subscribed to your shitty-ass magazine.  And even if I accidentally did, I already called to cancelled my "subscription," not to invite more junk mail from you.  I don't care if you're inspirational or are the embodiment of the sweet Jesus/Allah/Buddha or are giving me free address labels (which are the shittiest with the fewest address labels out of all shitty, free address labels), I don't want your shit.  And I'm not fucking calling you again to tell you not to send stuff; that would probably be another confirmation that I exist at this address, and you'd send more crap my way.

I'm sick of getting your shit at least twice a week.  I don't want to buy your fucking inspirational books.  I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING SHIT.  Actually, fine, send it, waste your fucking postage expenses sending it to me, I'm ignoring them and returning them to you.  I hope you report a net loss.  Fuck you.

In defense of Guideposts: OH NOOOO GUIDEPOSTS IS PROMOTING SPIRITUALITY IN ALL FAITHS!  HOW DARE THEY?!  ONLY CHRISTIANITY IS THE TRUE FAITH!  THEOLOGICAL FEMINISM IS WRONG!!  WHAT PLACE DO WOMEN HAVE IN CHRISTIANITY BESIDES BEGETTING ALL OUR CHILDREN????

Fuck you, everybody.  This patriarchal tripe, which they readily admit to (in that link), pisses me the fuck off.  Just because you think you have the right to, doesn't mean you can beat and rape women, or take advantage of them.  And just because the Bible said so (or seems to be saying so), doesn't mean you have to sit there and take it because you think you deserve it.

Fuck you, even though Guideposts is sending me garbage I don't want, at least they seem open-minded and accepting of everybody, not like your little tight-ass brainwashed anus mind.

Everyone sucks.  Fuck everyone.  I wish I had that Monty Brogan quote again.  Oh, here.

In the place where I commit my shenanigans, I've been clearing the office of somebody who no longer is within the organization -- I shall call him Joey Joe Joe, Jr. Shabadoo!  So Joey Joe Joe, Jr. Shabadoo's documents are full of his name (Joey Joe Joe, Jr. Shabadoo): scrap paper, letters, notes, e-mails, etc.  Cleaning his stuff (I've finished one drawer and have three or four more to go -_-;;) is monotonous and tedious, so I've taken to imagining what kind of person Joey Joe Joe is through is handwriting. (Weird, I know, but how else to keep from GOING INSANE????)

His handwriting is quite normal though, so what can I imagine?  "Oh, so here's this normal guy" -- that's practically everyone and, depending on your subjectivity, it IS everyone (except women).

When I was almost finish with the one drawer, a fax came in and I checked it.  Nothing special, faxes always come in, except the name that caught my eye was: JOEY JOE JOE, JR. SHABADOO!  HOLY CRAP HE KNOWS!!

Even though he's no longer in the organization, he's still connected to it.  Didn't freak me out any less at the moment, though.

NYPL updated their catalog a few months ago.  At first I really disliked it, given my experience with their old system (I mean, dang, I still used their telnet system if the current catalog was down, and it happened pretty often when the current version was just released), but I decided to give it a whirl before any final judgements (that's right, with an 'e').  I've whirled, so here's a handy list:

(1) TYPING OUT THE FULL BARCODE
This was annoying at first, because I'm pretty sure they didn't say to type the full barcode until later.  So I'm typing it in without the '23333' at the beginning, which denotes a regular library card code (23433 means research library card), AND IT DOESN'T WORK.  NOOOOOOOOOO I'M GOING CRAAAAZYYYYYYYYY.  I finally figured they meant full code; I'd always only typed the code that was special to my account (after 23333) because it was just quicker that way, but most people I surreptitiously check out (and one not so much) always type their full barcode.  Now I type in the full code, except not because I keep forgetting one 3 >_<

(2) LACK OF INFO IN MY HOLDS
It used to be that it would tell you what number in line you were for the item.  Now it's just a total crapshoot.  It's like a tracking number when you order something online!  People like knowing where their package is at, even if it's halfway around the world.  This is kind of the same idea; if I see that I'm 10th of 1183 for 99 items, I'd be like, WOOT WOOT GET READY FOR LIBRARY TIME!!  Now, I will only know when it states "IN TRANSIT."  It decreases the preparation time I need to get ready!!

(3) COMBING LEO AND CATNYP CATALOGS INTO ONE
It sounds good, IN THEORY.  Communism sounded good, IN THEORY.  NYPL, by combining the catalogs could save resources rather than splitting them up.  But it uses the CATNYP (the Research library catalog) way of organizing things which I utterly abhorred.  When the title/name/etc. cannot be found, it'll say along the lines of, "We think you don't know how to alphabetize and enjoy mocking you, so we'll tell you where the item entry would be; however, since it still doesn't exist in our database, go suck it."
SUCK IT!!!!

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