I got some spam.  The only reason I clicked it was because I saw "ups.com."  Aah, so clever you spammers!  But the e-mail was pretty hilarious (my comments are red!):

UPS COURIER COMPANY
12 Air Port Road,G.R.A.
West Africa,
Wait, what, West Africa is a country??  Boy, my 20+ years of poring over atlases and maps were pretty much useless, then, if a piece of spam mail says otherwise!  And you couldn't come up with a better name than, "Air Port Road"?  Here, I'll give you a freebie: "Port Air Road."  GOLD!

.Good Day.I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your Confirmable
Bank  
Draft of $1,000,000,00 USD (One Million United Statest Dollars),but I did  not
hear
from you since that time. Then I went and deposited the Draft with Ups Courier
Express ,West Africa,I travelled out of the country for a 3 Months Course and I
will
not come back till end of June.
Unlike the Nigerian prince, this e-mail just gets right to the point!  Not even explaining why I'm even receiving a million dollars.  I can never get over how horribly spam messages rape the English language.  Is it on purpose?  "Look at my terrible command of the English language!  That means I'm foreign!"  No.  No, it does not.

I want you to try all your best and contact the UPS COURIER SERVICE as soon  as
possible to know when you will get this package because of the expiring  
date.For your
information,I have paid for the Security Keeping Fee, Insurance premium and
Clearance
Certificate Fee of the Cheque showing that it is not a Drug Money or meant to
sponsor
Terrorist attacking your Country. [Emphasis mine]
So when I don't send money with a Clearance Certificate Fee, I am inadvertently funding the terrorists?  UH oh...

The only money you will send to the Ups Courier Express to deliver your  Draft
direct
to your postal Address in your country is $250 Us Dollars only.Being Delivering
Charge
Fee of the Courier Company so far. Again,don't be  deceived [Emphasis mine] by any person to pay
any
other money except $2500 Us Dollars being  the Delivering Charge .I would have
paid
that but they said no because they don't know when you will contact them and in
case
of demurrage. You have to contact the UPS COURIER SERVICE now for the delivery
of your
Draft with this below information.
Lol @ "demurrage," the different amounts, and telling me not to be deceived.  The ironing is delicious.  Also, why would it cost 250 to deliver a check?  It only costs like five United Statest dollars to deliver a magazine from Japan.

===========================================
Contact Person: Mr. Charles B. Anderson
Email Address: contactups01@gmail.com
Telephone: +234 8036-900-550
===========================================
Lastly, You are advice to send the below information to the Courier Company:Your
Full
Name:
Postal address:
Direct telephone number:
Country:
Marital Status:
Occupation:
Age:
Sex:
Do send it to them again to avoid any mistake on the Delivery and ask them  to
give
you the tracking number to enable you track your package over there and know
when it
will get to your address.
LMAO, the Courier Company wants to know my marital status, occupation, and sex, why?  When they send it over, will they ask these things to verify my identity?

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs.Kate Hegedus
I'm contemplating sending a bullshit message back, like...
Full Name: Naomi Campbell
Postal address: 123 Fake Street
Direct telephone number: 1-800-HOT-SEXY
Country: Rand McNally
Marital Status: 6-time divorcée
Occupation: Getting hit by oncoming cars and then suing the drivers for money
Age: 6000
Sex: Anal