bluetopaz's Xanga

Friday, October 16, 2009

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 02:29:28 GMT

Just endured a marketing sales presentation that was introduced under the guise of health improvement. The presenter was announced as a person who was successful in several different (but somewhat related) types of work, and that the announcer was planning to work with the presenter. In retrospect, that should've been a big tip-off.

So basically he is trying to scare everyone and freak everybody with scary statistics (yet with no sources, footnotes, etc.), BUT THERE'S HOPE!!!! BUY THIS PRODUCT!!!! I'm not saying he made up the statistics, but sources are nice! (Sidenote: People can make up statistics to prove anything. Forfty percent of all people know that. :3)

In fact, I went to check on a stat he kept expounding on and... well it wasn't entirely false. But it wasn't entirely true either. The last couple slides of his PPT presentation were devoted entirely to the product, it was hilarious. It is specially crafted by only one person, not on a production line ! It only comes to $180/month so if cut out cable, you can buy it! (It costs $3000.) It's okay if you don't buy, you are already paying... WITH YOUR LIFE!!!! DON'T YOU WANT TO LIVE????????? I know people don't want to keep silent a good thing, so if you want to tell others, JOIN ME AND TOGETHER WE CAN RULE THE UNIVERSE AS MASTER AND APPRENTICE!!

Then another guy showed up and he explained he has a sales force of X number of people in different states and he generates a profit of $2 million a month or a year or something. So yeah, where exactly are you in that multi-level marketing scheme we now so clearly see?

I didn't even mind the extolling of the product (hell, I used to watch infomercials for entertainment), but the blatant lie? YOURHEALTH'SIMPORTANTHEY BUY THIS TO BE HEALTHY!! Wow that was so... I feel bamboozled really. I mean I doubt any one of us are going to sign up to be one of their underlings (we all discussed secretly afterward pretty much how ridiculous it was). Suddenly it's all so clear, why he wanted more people to attend, and spoke to nearly all of us individually on attending.

And not only did the presenter get there late, the presentation took TWO hours so I got home an hour later than usual. Ridiculous... and it was originally planned for even LATER. HAAAAAAAAAAA.

Oh and why did he mention the colonoscope was something we never would have heard of before? I like giving one-word answers when I'm in a big group unless absolutely necessary, so I said, "Colon." "Yes, for the colon," he replied. I HOPE I RUINED HIS ACT, NO MATTER HOW BRIEF THE MOMENT.

Fucking lame.

Friday, October 02, 2009

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 04:51:21 GMT

What the hell is wrong with the F train... today (or yesterday) I was but TWO stops away from my destination and they go and say that there was a loss of power at Jay St and thus the F would be running on the G line. Huh???? Well, I know I can transfer to the A at Hoyt-Schermerhorn station (love it), the next G stop. But it's really annoying because we had to run up and down to the other side. I got on the A, the next stop being Jay St. Yeah, the way they made it sound, it was like the whole station was in the dark. But apparently just the F line? And they didn't seem to inform the passengers waiting at Jay St for the F what was going on, because I saw a lot of people standing at the F side.

That's not a really out-of-the-ordinary story, but, the F train has been particularly in a bad funk lately. I went to the last stop, Coney Island, to take the F back up to Manhattan, because my regular way of taking the F requires two different trains, not including the F itself, and I didn't want to do that that day. And I was only three stops from Coney Island, so I thought, meh. Well, THE F WAS NOT AT CONEY ISLAND!!!! I had to take the Q to West 8th St, which was where the F was hanging out. It went like five feet before it suddenly stopped and then a whole bunch of guys in those bright orange construction vests started bounding through the train doors to check some signal problem in the front of the train (I was in the first car, so I saw a lot), but not before the driver put on his little vest, opened up the door and stepped onto the tracks to check the problem. I'm not really sure what the problem was, just that there was a signal malfunction and a bunch of guys came to check it out.

So finally it went to the next station, Neptune Ave, but the conductor says that the next stop, Avenue X, IS THE LAST STOP. NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU that meant I had to go to the other side to take the F train that was going to Manhattan, because they were doing track work. Well, at least it was going express, but it's the kind of express that's really slow and you just think, "why bother?" :/

I've always hated Brooklyn non-rush hour subway service. Or maybe it's the one I know the best, schlepping into Brooklyn since I was a wee one, so I know the trains quite well. (I'm the train whisperer.) Subway service in Queens is quite lacking; besides the 7 (that goes to Flushing), all the other trains just travel in a thick rope together on Queens Boulevard. Bleh. The worst might be SIR (State Island Railway), but, seeing as I've never been on it I don't know. But it's just one line that's only traveling on the east side of the island, sooooooooooooooo... Bronx is kinda like Manhattan service, different trains branching off into different routes, except no crosstown trains.

And I had a whole thing on crosstown trains, but I really have to sleep. I AM GOING TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW. GOOD NIGHT.

P.S. I don't know why I like talking about the subway so much. I already have subway (blanked out, seriously, I forgot it... maybe sandwiches?). OKAY IT'S SLEEPY TIME.

Fuck you

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 18:24:51 GMT

Fuck you, Guideposts. I never subscribed to your shitty-ass magazine. And even if I accidentally did, I already called to cancelled my "subscription," not to invite more junk mail from you. I don't care if you're inspirational or are the embodiment of the sweet Jesus/Allah/Buddha or are giving me free address labels (which are the shittiest with the fewest address labels out of all shitty, free address labels), I don't want your shit. And I'm not fucking calling you again to tell you not to send stuff; that would probably be another confirmation that I exist at this address, and you'd send more crap my way.

I'm sick of getting your shit at least twice a week. I don't want to buy your fucking inspirational books. I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING SHIT. Actually, fine, send it, waste your fucking postage expenses sending it to me, I'm ignoring them and returning them to you. I hope you report a net loss. Fuck you.

In defense of Guideposts: OH NOOOO GUIDEPOSTS IS PROMOTING SPIRITUALITY IN ALL FAITHS! HOW DARE THEY?! ONLY CHRISTIANITY IS THE TRUE FAITH! THEOLOGICAL FEMINISM IS WRONG!! WHAT PLACE DO WOMEN HAVE IN CHRISTIANITY BESIDES BEGETTING ALL OUR CHILDREN????

Fuck you, everybody. This patriarchal tripe, which they readily admit to (in that link), pisses me the fuck off. Just because you think you have the right to, doesn't mean you can beat and rape women, or take advantage of them. And just because the Bible said so (or seems to be saying so), doesn't mean you have to sit there and take it because you think you deserve it.

Fuck you, even though Guideposts is sending me garbage I don't want, at least they seem open-minded and accepting of everybody, not like your little tight-ass brainwashed anus mind.

Everyone sucks. Fuck everyone. I wish I had that Monty Brogan quote again. Oh, here.

SHENANIGANS!

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 15:37:09 GMT

In the place where I commit my shenanigans, I've been clearing the office of somebody who no longer is within the organization -- I shall call him Joey Joe Joe, Jr. Shabadoo! So Joey Joe Joe, Jr. Shabadoo's documents are full of his name (Joey Joe Joe, Jr. Shabadoo): scrap paper, letters, notes, e-mails, etc. Cleaning his stuff (I've finished one drawer and have three or four more to go -_-;;) is monotonous and tedious, so I've taken to imagining what kind of person Joey Joe Joe is through is handwriting. (Weird, I know, but how else to keep from GOING INSANE????)

His handwriting is quite normal though, so what can I imagine? "Oh, so here's this normal guy" -- that's practically everyone and, depending on your subjectivity, it IS everyone (except women).

When I was almost finish with the one drawer, a fax came in and I checked it. Nothing special, faxes always come in, except the name that caught my eye was: JOEY JOE JOE, JR. SHABADOO! HOLY CRAP HE KNOWS!!

Even though he's no longer in the organization, he's still connected to it. Didn't freak me out any less at the moment, though.

NYPL updated their catalog a few months ago. At first I really disliked it, given my experience with their old system (I mean, dang, I still used their telnet system if the current catalog was down, and it happened pretty often when the current version was just released), but I decided to give it a whirl before any final judgements (that's right, with an 'e'). I've whirled, so here's a handy list:

(1) TYPING OUT THE FULL BARCODE
This was annoying at first, because I'm pretty sure they didn't say to type the full barcode until later. So I'm typing it in without the '23333' at the beginning, which denotes a regular library card code (23433 means research library card), AND IT DOESN'T WORK. NOOOOOOOOOO I'M GOING CRAAAAZYYYYYYYYY. I finally figured they meant full code; I'd always only typed the code that was special to my account (after 23333) because it was just quicker that way, but most people I surreptitiously check out (and one not so much) always type their full barcode. Now I type in the full code, except not because I keep forgetting one 3 >_<

(2) LACK OF INFO IN MY HOLDS
It used to be that it would tell you what number in line you were for the item. Now it's just a total crapshoot. It's like a tracking number when you order something online! People like knowing where their package is at, even if it's halfway around the world. This is kind of the same idea; if I see that I'm 10th of 1183 for 99 items, I'd be like, WOOT WOOT GET READY FOR LIBRARY TIME!! Now, I will only know when it states "IN TRANSIT." It decreases the preparation time I need to get ready!!

(3) COMBING LEO AND CATNYP CATALOGS INTO ONE
It sounds good, IN THEORY. Communism sounded good, IN THEORY. NYPL, by combining the catalogs could save resources rather than splitting them up. But it uses the CATNYP (the Research library catalog) way of organizing things which I utterly abhorred. When the title/name/etc. cannot be found, it'll say along the lines of, "We think you don't know how to alphabetize and enjoy mocking you, so we'll tell you where the item entry would be; however, since it still doesn't exist in our database, go suck it."
SUCK IT!!!!

I hate iTunes

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 04:57:31 GMT

Don't I have an entry like this already? I don't know if it's here at xanga or elsewhere, but whatever. iTunes is annoying, in that it's the perfect application for someone like me, who likes music and lists and likes sorting according to specific criteria, who likes searching for something that I gave a special keyword to, but it always manages to not play all the files.

It works on Winamp. It works on WMP. It works on Songbird. Why not iTunes?? Not to mention something queer is going on, in that files that have played in iTunes, can no longer play (it will in the other programs I listed.) And now, a new thing: the Properties when I right-click on the file shows it reverting back to old info, while the Properties/ID3 tag in iTunes shows the current info. Then, when I try to change the Properties info by right-clicking so that it will match the Properties info in iTunes, it won't play. WTF?

Then I think maybe it's some bug thing because of my refusal to update iTunes, so I begrudgingly do so. Now NONE of my music will play! I'm gonna try after I restart, but I'm not gonna hold my breath. (I held out on updating because I saw the previews for it and it looks like an overly complicated "genius" clusterfuck.)

I'd long been using Songbird as an alternative; it doesn't have all the features that I liked so much about iTunes, but hey, at least it actually, you know, plays the song. ALL THE SONGS. (It's always in development, so who knows. I really really really really want them to add the lyrics section, like iTunes had.) Now I'm just making the full switch. Not all the features I'd like are in Songbird, but it's better than not being able to listen to all my songs.

I wouldn't be so pissed if all the features in iTunes weren't so... PERFECT for me, but I never really wanted iTunes since the very beginning. I wanted Winamp, but when it faded the song when I stopped it instead of just stopping it, I tried WMP before iTunes. I really hated that iTunes was so memory-intensive and took up like a bajillion MBs* of space. So I really had iTunes as something to hold me over, but man, all the features were so great and better than Winamp and WMP combined.

*Estimated.

Songbird comes along, it was buggy but it was a good start (the hatching egg icon for the setup installation when it was in beta was so cute!) I'll miss iTunes, but not the way it didn't play my songs and the way it was frustrating as hell.

This wouldn't even have happened if the computer at [redacted] didn't "refresh" my database on my MP3 player, that is, ERASING EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN THING I HAD ON THE 8GB PIECE OF SHIT. (It's an OS thing, in that plugging into XP will give me a different surprise every time. Maybe none of the files will show up? Maybe just the pre-installed files? Maybe it won't show up as a drive at all? [Actually that happened on Linux.]) I was trying to charge it -- I've done it before there and it had worked on the other computers, but OHHHHHHHHH not this one, this one mucks it up, so at home I had to drag and drop my whole library again, but I noticed that songs by so-and-so (that I listen to often) did not show up and then when I redragged and dropped them, they showed up but didn't play. So I checked these files on my hard drive and in my backup and they are ALL messed up (it must've originated in the hard drive, I very recently deleted all the files in the backup and just re-copied them again, because I'd edited so much metadata info that it was time consuming to go through each and every one I'd revised), in that they reverted back to the old ID3 tag info, for some reason. So iTunes isn't all to blame, but still, a problematic player for me.

OHHHHHHHHHHH and it would ALWAYS stop at the minute mark when I manually dragged the running-time bar back to the beginning, that always annoyed the shit outta me. Why? WHY??

MEEEEEEEEEEH

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 07:05:35 GMT

WOW TOTALLY FORGOT TO MAKE IT PUBLIC. This obviously was a drunk entry. (Truthfully, I edited for grammar, but that was pretty much it.) Well I wasn't really drunk, but being sleepy is equivalent to a certain amount of drunkenness. Don't drive while sleepy!

God, I don't want to be up, but I'm taking care of my baby cousin, who slept from 4pm to midnight. I thought she'd wake a bit later like at two or three so I went to sleep (or nap) at like eleven, but she woke up less than an hour later. So anyway I'm up and there's a youtube video of a Scottish Fold cat next to this entry window because she likes cats and I don't know how else to occupy her time (she seems to be getting sleepy).

So I'm up and I might as well do something to occupy my time... I went to Six Flags Great Adventure, and I got on the following rollercoasters in this order: Superman, Bizarro, Runaway Mine, Skull Mountain, The Dark Knight, and Batman.

Bizarro was lame, it's a reworking of the Medusa (I TOTALLY REMEMBER THAT FROM COMMERCIALS), which they admitted as much, tongue-in-cheek style, in the comic-style billboards that acted as a precursor to the ride (aka the stuff that tries to entertain as you wait in the boiling sun). It's a sensory ride, with fire flaming up at one point and cold mist blowing in our faces. There are speakers next to the seats, but you can't hear anything because people are all screaming and rollercoasters make a lot of noise, in case you haven't noticed. At the end of the ride, they played the Bizarro song (I TOTALLY REMEMBER THAT TOO!), the most enjoyable part. It was lame because it was just a bunch of loops.

Runaway Mine was fun even though it was, ironically, non-looping. Or maybe, because it was non-looping, I'd lowered my expectations, but it was actually kind of... not lame. (Describing everything as lame is back in my repertoire, I guess.) It would've been great if there'd been some crazy old gold prospectors. "YEEHAW RUNAWAY MINE! GIMME MY GOLD!"

Skull Mountain (I REMEMBER THIS FROM COMMERCIALS TOO!) was also non-looping, and kinda lame. It was just an indoor rollercoaster in the dark.

Dark Knight was another non-looping, indoor coaster, with weird things and light-up images that somehow correlated to the movie. There was a mini-movie before the ride. Meh. It had Aaron Eckhart in it. It reminded me of Universal Studios theme park, where they had mini-movies before the ride to get you prepped. Also to keep you less bored on line. It was like a Haunted House ride because there were very sudden twists and turns. Also the lone guy sitting behind us (it seats only four people, two in front and two in back) creeped me out. I mean, he was with friends, but just decided to sit alone... behind us.

Batman the ride is pretty old, and you can see it. This was the last one I was on and I was pretty tired by now so I was just going with the motions, literally.

Superman the ride: saved the best for last! Which I actually went on first. The ride simulates Superman flight, so the seats change into a lying facedown position before it starts moving.

I find that going with the flow (literally) helps lessen the jerkyness of the ride. (You know, in case you're afraid of whiplash.) You know how when riding a motorcycle you're supposed to go left and right when the bike goes left and right, respectively, to lessen the... something? Force? Yeah. Same idea.

Uhm yeah. A roller coaster entry. Whodathunkit?

Take the Hoagie to Yankee Stadium

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 02:52:03 GMT

Someone called it the "Metro" today again. Sure, *I* know Metro refers to the subway, but what about the crazy people who don't know Europe exists?

It was kind of funny because I was on my way to the station, which was only a block away, when he asked me where the "Metro stop" was. Then he headed in the opposite direction! This wasn't the first time this happened; a few years ago a tourist asked where so-and-so was, and I pointed which way and then he went the opposite way.

It's actually kind of confusing: though it's referred to as the "subway," we use MetroCards to pay our fares. I bought a MetroCard with a credit card one time and the company called to confirm the purchase -- if I did, in fact, buy a "subway card." I was like, "WTH is a subway card? OH YEAH." So it can happen the other way. Hm, I think maybe they didn't want to confuse it with the Subway card you get stamped at the ye olde Subway sandwich shoppe.

Also, there are TOO MANY SUBWAY RESTAURANT FRANCHISES. I like sandwiches as much as the next person (or Joey Tribbiani), but damn. And it gets confusing!

Another time, a French tourist asked for Port Authority (only he sexified it, "Port Azorichee") whilst at the 42nd St station at Sixth Ave. I said, "That's Eighth Avenue. This is Sixth Avenue. You can walk [slight pause letting it sink in] or you can take the train." He immediately said he'd take the train. "You can take the 7. To Times Square," I added and I pointed to the sign that said (7). "Times Square?" he confirmed, "Thank you!"

Sixth Avenue and Eighth Avenue are, as you can imagine correctly, only two avenues away from each other, or about six city blocks. About a six minute walk for someone like me (who rushes like mad in the city streets), but maybe ten or fifteen minutes for him, considering he had some light luggage and he had to cross fricking Times Square to get there. So, the subway seems the best bet, yes? Okay, but the 7 train he was going to get on at Sixth Ave is actually at Fifth Ave, an avenue's worth of walking underground AWAY from Port Authority. Then at Times Square, at Broadway, which is less than a city block from Seventh Ave, he'd have to walk another avenue underground to get to Eighth (I'm guessing he would've followed the signs that said "Port Authority Bus Terminal"). I mean, he would've walked two avenues either way, and at least in walking, he wouldn't have backtracked back to Fifth when he was heading for Eighth. I'm thinking unless he was really lucky, he added at least five minutes to his trip. Oh well, that's me, always thinking of travel routes for some reason.

I really wasn't gonna explain to him that he was essentially walking away from PABT to take the train so it would stop an avenue away from where he really wanted to go. KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID! Plus, the subway is the safest way to not get lost, but the most dangerous place to smell stale urine.

OF COURSE she'll like it, that's the type of stuff she likes

Mon, 25 May 2009 04:15:00 GMT

I hate assumptions. I try hard not to assume, not to speak for others, but ah, I really must think before I speak. Practice makes perfect. Another cliched saying!

"OF COURSE she'll like it, that's the type of stuff she likes," was in reference to me, about a gift. Okay, I appreciate the gift even though it's not my thing, but then I immediately appreciated it less after they said that. I would've just taken it, no other words, and stuck it in my drawer, because some things you just don't need to say, so did that really have to be said? I got defensive; maybe I shouldn't have, but that just really rubbed me the wrong way.

What happened was that someone went on vacation, brought back gifts, then gave them to their mother to hand out. Yeah. So I get the gift, and it's a "Oh, it's cute" sort of reaction, until their mother claimed that her child said, "OF COURSE she'll like it, that's the type of stuff she likes." I don't know if they actually said that or whether the mother was just saying things, but I hate assumptions like that, about a person, and one that they don't even know very well at that.

That just really irked me. I was ready to say thanks, but when that came out, I really just couldn't pretend. I know my face turned sour and/or dour. I handed it to my own mother, and said, "Here, you take it." I think the clever circular joke went unappreciated.

I know it made me look ungrateful, I know how bad it came off, but it was my really passive-aggressive way of letting her know that, "No, I did not like it, this is NOT the type of stuff I like." Would telling her straight up to her face have been any better? No, the best thing would've been to grin and bear it, but ugh, that just really struck a mean chord (of many) in me.

I try not to assume most of the time. "Oh, I don't know if you'll like it." "Oh I wasn't sure, but here!" That usually sets the bar low, and when they look genuinely surprised, I'm happy. Of course, I don't give out gifts anymore, because I take too much time considering the gift and the gift I get in response is like a slap in the face. That sounds shallow, doesn't it? Also, I have no money.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Sat, 16 May 2009 00:23:04 GMT

This craigslist job posting was really funny to me for some reason. I paraphrased all the hilarity parts:

DO YOU WANT A SERIOUS JOB WHILE CARRYING A WEAPON? DON'T WORRY, THERE ARE A FEW UNARMED POSITIONS STILL AVAILABLE FOR INDIVIDUALS WHO WANT TO GAIN EXPERIENCE IN THE FIELD.

THEY WILL HELP YOU GET A GUN LICENSE SO YOU CAN WORK RIGHT AWAY IN A RECESSION PROOF ENVIRONMENT

IF YOU ARE SERIOUS ABOUT YOURSELF CLICK HERE TO START IMMEDIATELY! JOB MAY INVOLVES[sic] WORKING WITH THE FEDERAL RESERVE, BANKS AND OTHER FINANCIAL INSTITUTIONS IN THE 5 BORUGHTS[sic and lol].

In fact, in Rand McNally, they wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people.

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 16:35:24 GMT

I got some spam. The only reason I clicked it was because I saw "ups.com." Aah, so clever you spammers! But the e-mail was pretty hilarious (my comments are red!):

UPS COURIER COMPANY
12 Air Port Road,G.R.A.
West Africa,
Wait, what, West Africa is a country?? Boy, my 20+ years of poring over atlases and maps were pretty much useless, then, if a piece of spam mail says otherwise! And you couldn't come up with a better name than, "Air Port Road"? Here, I'll give you a freebie: "Port Air Road." GOLD!

.Good Day.I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your Confirmable
Bank
Draft of $1,000,000,00 USD (One Million United Statest Dollars),but I did not
hear
from you since that time. Then I went and deposited the Draft with Ups Courier
Express ,West Africa,I travelled out of the country for a 3 Months Course and I
will
not come back till end of June.
Unlike the Nigerian prince, this e-mail just gets right to the point! Not even explaining why I'm even receiving a million dollars. I can never get over how horribly spam messages rape the English language. Is it on purpose? "Look at my terrible command of the English language! That means I'm foreign!" No. No, it does not.

I want you to try all your best and contact the UPS COURIER SERVICE as soon as
possible to know when you will get this package because of the expiring
date.For your
information,I have paid for the Security Keeping Fee, Insurance premium and
Clearance
Certificate Fee of the Cheque showing that it is not a Drug Money or meant to
sponsor
Terrorist attacking your Country. [Emphasis mine]
So when I don't send money with a Clearance Certificate Fee, I am inadvertently funding the terrorists? UH oh...

The only money you will send to the Ups Courier Express to deliver your Draft
direct
to your postal Address in your country is $250 Us Dollars only.Being Delivering
Charge
Fee of the Courier Company so far. Again,don't be deceived [Emphasis mine] by any person to pay
any
other money except $2500 Us Dollars being the Delivering Charge .I would have
paid
that but they said no because they don't know when you will contact them and in
case
of demurrage. You have to contact the UPS COURIER SERVICE now for the delivery
of your
Draft with this below information.
Lol @ "demurrage," the different amounts, and telling me not to be deceived. The ironing is delicious. Also, why would it cost 250 to deliver a check? It only costs like five United Statest dollars to deliver a magazine from Japan.

===========================================
Contact Person: Mr. Charles B. Anderson
Email Address: contactups01@gmail.com
Telephone: +234 8036-900-550
===========================================
Lastly, You are advice to send the below information to the Courier Company:Your
Full
Name:
Postal address:
Direct telephone number:
Country:
Marital Status:
Occupation:
Age:
Sex:
Do send it to them again to avoid any mistake on the Delivery and ask them to
give
you the tracking number to enable you track your package over there and know
when it
will get to your address.
LMAO, the Courier Company wants to know my marital status, occupation, and sex, why? When they send it over, will they ask these things to verify my identity?

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs.Kate Hegedus
I'm contemplating sending a bullshit message back, like...
Full Name: Naomi Campbell
Postal address: 123 Fake Street
Direct telephone number: 1-800-HOT-SEXY
Country: Rand McNally
Marital Status: 6-time divorcée
Occupation: Getting hit by oncoming cars and then suing the drivers for money
Age: 6000
Sex: Anal